leaving for the aiport in 1 or 2 hours time ba.
just wanna say thanks to all those people who wish me happy birthday and bon voyage. and thanks for all your presents too! haha. takkaires. love you all lots. mwacks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! haha. =)
(and to tein chin too. cos he same bday as me)

yeah i agree with germaine. i'm so damn bored at home. and how can i blog when there's nothing to blog about. but i'm still gonna blog now anyway, cos i dont know when will be the next time i'm blogging again.

why is the sky so sad? it's been raining for so uber many days now. and just now while it's raining, there's so much fog. cant even see the buildings. hope tml wont rain ba. cos i dont wanna get stuck in the airport. XP

today is such a slow day. i was literally counting the seconds cos i got nothing better to do. haha. there was nothing on tv. there was nothing to read. there was nothing to play with. there was nothing to do. this is bad. i dont want my life to rot away just like that. but saw one video just now. was a bit sick la. but very funny leh. haha.

tao zhe having concert tml. i want go watch. haha. his songs oso very nice. but jay still rock te most. haha. dont know whether ger will wan go ah du de concert not. cos jj is de special guest.

dont know why everybody's crazy over harry potter. cant they see that he look so weird with his curly hair. i thought his hair wasnt curly in the first place, did he go and curl them or what? and cho chang is not ugly. she just doesnt look that nice on magazines. she looks pretty ok to me. cedric is shuai la. haha.

still got 2 more days. argh.

i finally watched harry potter with ger today. actually wanted to watch it at ps. but the nearest two showtimes were sold out and i want to go home watch 'tong xin yuan'. so in the end we went all the way to toa payoh. er hem. and guess what. this is the first time i saw so many people in one cinema at toa payoh. so unbelievable. haha. the movie was ok. think this is the best of the 4 so far. but they left out a lot of details.

heys. and ah. cheeling and erkee. i not boliao de lorr. haha. cos i finally found someone, who like me, wondered how chicken little can wear his spects when he has no ears. and its not becos of the gravity pull. dont think i'm stupid. haha.

2 more days and and 10++ hours more i'll be taking plane le. but i dont even know how i feel. i know i dont want to stay here for the rest of the hols staying here listening to my ahma nag and feeling pathetic for myself. but do i really want to go back and deal with my mother's emotional state and my father's high expections?

maybe it's the wrong person at the right time.
or maybe it's the right person at the wrong time.

it was never meant to be.
you had to be perfect.
but it could never happen.
it's just too heart-wrenching to sit waiting.
hoping that someday you'll sweep by on your white horse.
wishing that for once, fairy tales do happen.

you were never sweet enough.
you were never caring enough.
you were never thoughful enough.
you were never funny enough.
you were never understanding enough.
you were never cool enough.
you were never cute enough.
you were never opinionated enough.
you were never there for me enough.
you were never happy enough.
you were never perfect.
and i just cant accept that my dream came crashing down.

went pizza hut for lunch. must say one BIG thank you to erkee. cos he paid for the whole thing leh. 30 plus dollars i think. weiting didnt wanted to eat. so in the end we had one big portion of pizza left. then we made a happy face with it. haha. if you wanna brighten up your day then ask cheeling for the photo. =)

went bugis afterwards. umm. dont know what to say la. was ok ba. just that very awkward.

i'm sorry.

argh. i cant stand my cousin. he'll like keep trying to attract attention. and then when his mother is not around, he'll play and everything. once his mother comes back and starts scolding. he'll put the blame on others. grow up la. so small jiu so suck up le.

i'm bored.so i'm editing the post i wrote just now.haha.

ok. i started with band was ok. it was. except for the fact that my teeth somehow felt numb whenever i tried to blow. and then i was freezing and hiccuping throughout the whole practice. the freezing part was due to that bloody rain that lasted for the whole day and the freaking aircon in the music room. but the hiccups, i dont know.haha.

thursday dont have band. but i still have to go to school anyway. they say they're having some mini open house or something.

tml i'm going to kovan. after boycotting it for soooooo long, i finally realised that i cant live without it. haha. no la. weiting says to celebrate my birthday. so we're going there for lunch.

my aunt changed the airline company, it's on the same day, just that now it's a direct flight and it's a lot more ex. so now i've to bear my ahma's grumbles and complaints while thinking 'hey, i didnt insist on going back'. but seriously, i cant think of anything else to do in singapore either.

my aunt wants me to help her buy some book from the place where i use to go to for my compo lessons. but i havent been there for so damn long, and i'm not going there tml. though i told her i would. haha. hell. who cares. think i'm just going to tell her i cant find the person.

argh. why so many buy books le. can they dont buy books so fast or not. make me so damn nervous. think i will dec end then buy books leh. cos my ahma like dont wan buy so fast. but so damn many books lorr. dont know how to lug home. and then must wear school u back leh. that's just so plain disgusting. what is it with the school and their freaking rules.

argh. i suddenly miss 2e6 a lot. i miss 7 jie mei. and next year we all not same class le. then cannot have 7 jie mei le. i very scared i wont like 3e3 leh. shirlynn say we'll make it rock. but how to rock it if the people are not nice. so i'm going to pray everynight from now that everybody will be fun. haha.

argh. weiting they all want go out on wed. but i no money leh. like that go out will very tong ku de leh. some more i this few days keep going out dont know whether ahma will allow or not.

argh. they say physics very difficult leh. heng i never take. if not i confirm fail de. then in the end will still have to drop the subject.

the yin yue feng 2005 concert was ok la.
there were some memorable moments.

1. the people sitting behind us telling stupid lame jokes.
2. the person sitting beside me who kept playing with her hp.
3. the blinding lights from the stage that makes it so difficult to see.
4. the shape of the singers (cos we couldnt see the faces)
5. the 'BIG' crowd that was there.

yesterday was FUN. haha. band so long never so fun le. went there uber early to prepare for music and movement. but slacked through the whole thing. i love the drawing of pei pei and mel mel. and i love the hand sign for timothy. haha.

but the performance was so scary. argh. so many people there. so much lights. haha.

later going some concert with ger. forgot what it's called le. haha. hope we dont get lost.

i miss him. was reading back my diary. now then i realise how bad i've been and how much i've taken him for granted. but it's too late for anything to be done now.

i'm irritated.
i'm so damn fed up with my ahma. it's like, cant she just leave me alone for one sec. i talk she got problem. i dont talk she say i giving her lian se kan. sometimes i really hate her. i just wish i can grow up faster. then i dont have to stay with her and listen to her complain anymore. she always spoils my day.

i'm going to 3e3. i dont know whether its a good thing or a bad thing oso. there are some nice people. but there are oso some people i dont think i'll be very close to. and i'm scared i'll regret giving up physics.

maybe i'm bad. i dont know. but maybe it's better this way.

I CANT OPEN MY EYES.

i'm so damn slpy. slept for only 2 hours like that.

went westmall with ch alvin and ger yesterday. it's like, so short time only. cos i had to leave early. anyway we watched just like heaven. i agree that's nice la, but it's like, totally lame, i guessed the ending le. and i'm never going to that cinema again cos the seat was so goddam uncomfortable.

and now i'm finnaly back in serangoon area. i'm getting dark eye rings cos i had to take care of my cousin for 2 days. i'm such a loving person. haa.

mr chew left AGAIN today. yupp. but he came back. he said we could keep the files. but he went thru the songs again after that. so you can imagine what the practice was like la. and i'm playing first. and i'm really really really scared of it. i cant live without peilin.

staying over at yanling's house tonight.

went cut hair with ger yesterday. but not much diff la. just thin it only.

later i have to go jurong take care of my cousin leh. then tml have to leave early. but meeting early oso. let's just hope ch can make it la. if he ant again i'm gonna kill him. haha.

he doesnt care.
what makes you think i do.

ger say i never blog. but it's only one damn day lorr. haha. i know she miss me a lot la. i dont blame her. ;)


i'm still not talking to my ahma. she's like, so damn irritating and unreasonable. she everything also got problem one leh. every little thing you do she will see bu shuang.


anyway, i dont need to see her for one whole day tml. haha. that's like, such a great thing. got that flag day thingy in the morn, then after that meeting gerr ch alvin they all.

TONG XIN YUAN IS SO LAME!!

it's like, they've got no other things to film anymore, so now, the story is becoming more and more strange. it's not even funny no nice anymore. and there's so many repeated scenes with different actions.


i know i've written this asdfghjkl times. but i'm writing it again.

i'm bored!!!

and my ahma and i still arent talking. cos when i reached home last night, she started barking at me again. i thought she would just stop at ignoring me, but obviously i was wrong, she's still capable of going crazy on me. and now, we're like two strangers in the same house. she's not talking to me, and i'm not going to be the first one to talk either. so now, if she wants to ask me to eat or what, we do all the talking through my cousin. haha. and yeah, after that whole last night fight, we STILL have not come to a conclusion and whether i'm going or not. but i dont think i want to take this lying down also.


it's carole's birthday tml. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROLE!


just read finish weiting's blog. i understand that she dont like this person la, but hey, look on the bright side, you wont have much to do with the person anyway. she wont even need to see her much anymore. and i want to remind her bout the neos. weiting, when then you want send me ah. (:

i'm so damn sicked of it already. my ahma keeps getting on my nerves. she went totally crazy on me yesterday, just because i told her i want to go for sleepovers. like, what's her problem, i told her on sunday and she was fine with it. and now, just 1 or 2 days later, she's changed her mind. and then she's got all this stupid excuses as to why i shouldnt go and then kept saying things which she think is true but isnt. first she kept shouting at me, saying that i'm always out, going for one thing after another in really really crude words (which is so totally untrue), and then she started talking about all the things i did in the past which was not so correct. then this morning, she gave me the cold-shoulder, now, she's behaving like i owe her 1000000000000000 bucks. i mean, what kind of grandma scolds their grandchild with such languages, ignores them, and then acts all irritated and inpatient whenever i ask her a simple question. she's nuts. and we havent even came to a conclusion about my sleepover. i'm just too tired to start fighting with her again, so dont think will be asking anytime soon ba. i dont want to be in the same house as her anymore. bleck. like i really can get out like that.

argh.

band was ok. but i really dont feel like going for the thursday one. if it's in the morning it's still fine, but they changed it to the afternoon, can you believe it. it's like, do they really think we're so damn free that they can just change their schedule to anytime they want it to be. and what's the point of writing band is from wat time to wat time when they dont even end on time.


i'm in a really really bad mood today. so dont come near me.

i'm freaking bored!!!


i'm leaving on the 27. on my birthday! that's like, so damn pathetic. and my mother never even said anything at all. all she knows is to keep asking me to bring assessment books along to do, with different words. i dont feel like going back anymore. i dont feel like looking at her. i'm so pissed off with myself. i know i shouldnt be like that, but, who in their right mind will want to spend their birthday alone, in an airport. and she doesnt even say anything. all she cares about is how i shouldnt drag down my studies and stuff like that. ='(

i'm bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i'm stuck at home with nothing to do at all. i just wasted one whole week of my life doing NOTHING. can you believe that. and i have to at least go on wasting 7 more weeks before a new year starts.


anyway, i saw hilary AND hao jun today. hilary didnt change much i think. though i dont recognise him le. =) but he's much much darker. half his face was tan and the other half was not. he said becos of camp. haha. but haojun looked so so so much different! i dont think i'll ever know it was him if ger didnt tell me. he looked so different with the dyed hair, the spects and the jacket. i can still remember the times where we went swimming together with ruipeng shujun and jiajian. and how he paid over 100 bucks for my barbecue. ^.^ and how we always went over to his house to play and how kelvin broke his window grill. haha. i miss my primary school life! but i dont think we can ever be like that anymore.


anyway. i think i spent the whole day reminiscing about the past. (wrong spelling la, cos dunno how to spell) yupp. me and ger spent almost the whole afternoon thinking about what we did during sec 1 and this year. haha. realise that i forgot about a lot of things le.


i think i'm going to die lugging all the books to the library. i've got 4 books from me, 6 from ger, 2 from ruiting, and that's 12 in total. and if you dont know how heavy and bulky 12 books can be. try it at home.

i'm feeling hungry and tired and sad now.


i'm hungry. becos i didnt get to eat dinner. becos my ahma is not here to cook (and i'm too lazy to start cooking myself. ) becos she has to go to my aunty's house to take care of my cousin. becos his father went overseas and he cant live without an adult watching over him. becos he's so pampered. i'm hungry.


i'm tired because i went to band for 5 hours in the afternoon. and i'm tired becos i laughed so much at ger's stupidity and timothy's 'cute' face and melvin's indescribable expression. imagine this. everybody is playing the scale while warming up. me and ger plays. we hear a horrible sound that doesnt blend in with the rest at all. we look up at timothy. we look at each other. we started giggling like mad. we tried playing again. and the same thing happens. in the end, we found out that we made a fool of ourselves because ger took the wrong book. how stupid can she get. right? haha. yeah. that's only the beginning. i wont bore you with the rest of the details. but i didnt mind today's practice. at all. even though i feel so lost and hopeless and helpless without peilin. haha. it's like, we slacked through the whole practice.


i'm sad becos? i dont know. i cant figure it out myself. i just feel really really empty and really really down. and maybe becos i read this really really sad story. and there's this really really sad phrase inside that goes 'sometimes life is not as difficult as we imagined it to be, we can be living without a reason and just living, or maybe, just maybe, we're living becos we dont want to die yet.' and then i began thinking about my life.


i'm going to have sleepovers!!! =)) be jealous. people.

heyheys..i love jay's new album.


legend of zorro is nice. go watch.


dont feel like blogging much today. so end here le.