ok.tonight's firework is.spectacular.
it's so damn damn damn damn nice.
and i wish i was there la.

anw.went to meet sj today.
and after met germaine at bugis.
and she's childish.hahaha.

i wanted to buy my black jeans.
but.they didnt have my size.AGAIN.
am i tt fat? ><
but they're gonna call me when the stock comes next week.







ok.we were being retarded.
hahaha.but i love my bff. x)

sj asked me whether i minded cosmetic surgery today.
and i'm like,i dont see why will anybody mind.
no one is born perfect.
and it'll make you happier and more confident of yourself.
it's like,you want to be a hairy monster all your life?
and you want me to wear spects till i die?
oh man,tt's so not going to happen.
i mean,i dont want to be a 90-year old toothless woman who's sick and saggy and cant move at all.
i dont want to live such a long life.i just want a happy one.

friends are forever.
guys doesnt matter.
they say no man is worth your tears,
and the one who is wont make you cry.
so i guess you're not worth my tears either.
today will be the last day i cry for you.
thans for making me see the harsh truth.ut it doesnt matter anymore.

i want to move on.i really do.
becos it seems like you're already back to your normal self.
so why am i still stuck here.

i'm selfish.i know.
i wanted you to feel the pain tt i felt.
and i wanted you to miss me.
and i dont want you to think of her.

when you said you've made a decision.i thought it was being with her.
and i could hardly breathe thinking about it.
i thought you went straight from me to her.
i thought while i was crying my heart out every night,you were starting new memories with her.
i thought that i was so dumb for still trying to hold on,even though i've told everybody tt i'm moving on.

and yes,when i heard tt you werent actually with her.yet.
i felt so relieved.
i felt like,the guy i know is still here.
he's not gone.and he's not turning out to be a jerk.
and for once for the past few days.
i could think of you without crying.

i know i should be more big-hearted.
i know tt i shouldnt blame you if you want to be with her.
but it doesnt work this way.

现在他在你的身边就对他好一点
不要再让你们的爱败给了时间
既然遇见了永远就不要说再见
不要再让你们的爱输给了永远

this was what she told you.
but do you seriously think tt she meant it?
how could she mean it?
when she liked you and wanted to be with you.
it's what we tell ourselves so tt we wouldnt stay and look at the guy's new-founded happiness.
it's what we tell ourselves so that we'll move on.

when my friends found out i messaged you,
i can see their disapproving looks.
and i can see their omg-how-could-you-be-so-dumb look on their faces.

but i just couldnt stand not knowing it.
i just could not pretend to not care about it.
it's so hard acting like i'm so over you and you dont matter anymore.
it's so hard to think tt you might love her more than me.
and though i wanted so much to ask you.
i didnt have the courage to listen to your answer.

i thought things would get better.
but it seems only true when i'm distracted.
becos there'll always be times through out the day when i suddenly thought of you.
and all the if-onlys tt could have happened instead.

i'm weak.i know.
and whenever i saw a red-plated car,i think of you.
whenever i see the sunflower still sitting in my living room,i think of you.
whenever something happened,i think of you.
whenever i see pastas,i think of you.
whenever ppl mention cable cars,i think of you.

if i told you i dont want you to be with her.ever.will you listen to me?
if i told you i still want things to be different.will you believe me?
if i told you i still loved you.will you still care?

i know everyone wants me to move on.i want to too.
but god knows how long it'll take.

i'm not on very good terms with my family right now.
yes.including my parents and ahma and blah blah.
and tt's putting it mildly,
considering the shouting matches and the crying and the accusations for the past few days.
and i'm not sure how long it's going to last.

but, my ahma and i aint having cold war anymore,
cos it's quite hard to live under the same roof and not talk to each other.
although we're steering clear of the topics we quarreled about.
and maybe it's better this way.

went to watch invisible target today.
not bad la.haha.but too action-packed for me.
cos the whole time i was feeling so worried for the ppl who are fighting.
and there's this bad guy tt's really cool.
not like he's super shai or cute or what,
but it's like,his character and personality is so cool.
and he's actually a good person at heart cos he didnt really put a bomb on tt bus.

ok.and seriously.mdm lau likes me too much.
she comes to visit me everyday just to talk to me about my hair blah blah.
cant she go love someone else?

and yes.PRELIMS IS COMING.
and yeah,although i still dont feel the panic.
i'm getting pretty stressed out.

and there's oral with ms ow tml.
let's just hope tt i get through it alive.
cos i can alr see her you-are-so-screwed face in my mind.

and germaine.i miss you! =D

i never thought things would end this way.

"i dont know.can you give me more time"
do you really not know.or are you hiding it from me.
do you really need more time.or you just dont know how to tell me.

you said you dont want to lose her friendship.
but does rejecting her mean tt you cant be friends anymore?
you care so much about her.what about me?
does all our memories mean nothing to you?

just because she wants you back.
you're thinking of leaving me.

it hurts to think about the past.
it hurts to think about life without you.
it hurts to think tt i'm crying and you dont even care.
it hurts to think tt you may be tgt with her.
it hurts to think about you.

you said your life was not built on lies.
and you said "it's hard to let you go"
but tt's a lie isnt it.

i love you.i thought you felt the same way too.
i thought that our love was real.i thought you felt the same way too.
i thought our 5 months meant something to you.
i thought i was someone important in your heart.
but maybe i was wrong all along.



你好嗎　你的夜是不是跟我的一樣漫長
是不是　還把我給你的愛好好戴在手上
要堅強　我常常對著鏡子裏的人大聲講
雖然說　孤獨的想一個人好像一種懲罰

MSN上太多的路人甲
偶爾你也該上來說說話

想著你的溫柔　想著你的模樣　我放不下
部說過了再見　我們各自飛翔　各自長大
抱緊愛會掙扎　放開愛會心慌　神也很忙
到底要實現哪個願望
離開你　那麼傻　可以後侮嗎

風很大　怕你又穿得太少會讓自己著涼
我很棒　一個人換了燈泡房間變得很亮
每一天　發生的事情我都好想要跟你講
愛很怪　什麼都介意最後又什麼都原諒

Ooh　心裡最深的牽掛
越想遺忘越不能忘

i thought ytd was going to be weird.
but it turned out ok.
hahaha.cos they were so funny.and i couldnt stop laughing.
so the happy pill really worked. =]

went to watch vacancy.
tt show is SICK.
it's all about murdering ppl and killing ppl and it's so sadist.
and i kept jerking and screaming
so i think i watch until like,totally no image alr.

went vivo for lunch/dinner.
hahaha.first time i ate at tt place.
felt more like reunion meal.
hahaha.

and i must have been a REALLY nice person in my past life.
cos now i've got the bestest bestest xiao di ever.
he got me HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!
omg.he's so damn nice. =))))))))))))))))

and sorry ling and jac.
i cant find my USB cable.
so i guess i still cant upload the pics yet.

today's RACIAL HARMONY DAY!!!
hahaha.ok.actually it's damn stupid.
but the tons of photo-taking make it uber fun.
will upload the pictures soon.
and cheeling and jac kept doing all those really dumb actions.
total spoil image-ness.hahaha
it's the first time we had this mass photo taking session after our class trip to sakura.
=))))))))))))))))

but actually sakura wasnt tt long ago.haha.

and jac and i went s11 to eat!
i love the soup there!
it's so so so so nice.
and jac thinks she's angmoh.
hahahaha.

and pizza ht has a new pizza!
with a lot a lot a lot of cheese.
there's even a cheese fondue.
i wanna try!!!

and then tml.there's bio ssp.
and ms tan change the timing from 8 to 830.
which means MOST PROBABLY it will start at 9.
wooo.i love her.=]

i hate HATE chemistry.
chemistry sucks.
chemistry should not have been invented.
chemistry should just DIE.

anw.HARRY POTTER IS COMING OUT!!!!
i'm damn damn damn excited la.
cos this is like,the last book alr.
but need to wait for cl to lend me. ><

shir and clar and shawn didnt come to sch today.
must be there's a scandal going on.hahahahaha.

ok.i really really really hate my comp.
cos for some unknown reason it's refusing to log on to the internet.
and tt's whole point when i on the comp.
so now i cant even come online.

and becos i haven blogged for so long.
i dont know where to start anymore.

i dont know whether i shld ask you about it.
but like what germaine said,
it doesnt change anything.
so maybe it's better not to.

i love my house!
cos i can see the fireworks.
and they're damn damn nice,

went bugis with germaine.
and we spent so sitting with voldemort.
i wanna watch harry potter!

plus i saw this denim shorts in a colour i really like.
but they dont have my size. =\
and i'm not even fat la. ><

does anybody have harry potter and the half blood prince.
can you pls pls lend me?

yesterday's carrer seminar was HORRIBLE!
it's so bloody boring and i cant slp
and it's a total waste of my time.

BUT THEN.
now i'm damn damn damn motivated to go to VJ.
and yes,i'm gonna work hard from now on cos the bloody cut-off point is 5 pts.
tt's crazy.

and my eyes are so dry recently.
and it's irritating becos i have to keep putting eye drop every few minutes.
think i'm gonna go check my eyes tml.
and i realise i cant balance properly when i wear my spects out.

and i feel like killing germaine soon.
i'm supposed to meet her at 1.
and she woke up at 1.grr.