didnt go to school today. feels so good to stay at home and do nothing (0kay, i've got hmwk ltr, but still). and i really dont feel like going to school tmr too.

and my ankle is pain like hell now. i dont even rmb twisting it or anything. and i want to go see sinseh. but now im lazy to get out of the house. and now my eye has like, a (invisible) blue black thanks to kaichun. but he says it doesnt count since it can only be felt and not seen.

and there's this career seminar in vj ytd and there's like all this exhibitions in the hall and talks all over the school. and i'm super scared now that i cant get into the course i want la, though i dont know what it is now. but yeah, i've really really got to start studying soon. double degree for economics and law sounds nice. and i know my parents will like it. but wth, my econs is really pathetic and i dont even know if i have any interest in law. i cant even imagine myself being a lawyer. and i realise when i was looking through the brochures the thought "will my parents want me to be in this course" keep running through my mind. thatfeelings sucks please, like, im not even studying for myself, im studying to fulfill my parents' dreams or something. but i just hate to see them disappointed.

study group with knights next thursday! time and place to be confirmed. i have no idea which classrooms we can use. ><

"hi"
"hi"
"hi"
"hi"
"hi"
how many "hi"s are you going to say before you finally get the message that im trying to ignore you and pretend you dont exist. im not interested in talking to you okay.

and whats up with the "if you dont want to go out with me just say it la", like eff, if you're trying to make me feel guilty whatever shit its not working. it worked a long time ago when we didnt know each other so well and you were still acting decent and nice. and i hate it when you say "yeah right" to me with that skeptical tone. you're not important enough for me to want to lie to you alright.

the open house pictures. saved by gerald's never-say-die camera.












ling.

im pH14! :)

went vivo to watch x files with mr zc. x files is chim one lor, even more hard to understand than batman. like, i didnt really get the part where the person's neck had a lot of scars. seems to me like the person wants to swop heads or something. but the show's quite nice. :)

and there's this bridal show going on in vivo, and everytime we walked past it, the promoter will come and ask whether we were planning to get married soon and whether we wanted to take a look. like, omg, i find it super hilarious please. i look young la. i dont want to be a wife so soon please. ><

and yes, no more fried food for me! i ate so much fried food today and i'm having a damn bad sore throat now. im going to die for training tmr. or come to think of it, maybe i wont, cos my math buddy thing will be till seven and i'll miss practically 90% of training. damn.

and today's math lecture was exciting. freaked me half to death. i never screamed so much or laughed so loud in lecture before. there was like, this freaking lizard on the bag behind me la. and okay, there's this super brave guy who caught it with his bare hands. he's my new hero!

oh. and gerald's camera miraculously recovered! yayyyyyyyyyy!


do you remember this?
ever since that day i dont know what you're thinking anymore.

ytd was college day. like, okay, quite dumb. the amount of time we spent on our make up and hair blah blah was a hundred times more the time we spent for the performance. but we took nice photos!

and for some reason aft tt everybody was sort of like pms-ing. we were taking turns to snap at each other la. the first time you get the feeling that everyone's going to blow up in everyone's face. but hey hey, at least everybody cheered up before the movie. and afterwards when we started talking about what happened it turned out to be quite funny.

dark knight is really really damn nice la. like, omg, so damn frigging exciting and stressing and everything. i almost couldnt breathe inside can. and luckily gerald didnt regret sitting next to me cos i was twisting his arm all the way. and i even cried please. and i think dark knight is a chim show lor. i didnt get all the hidden meanings inside. like how the coin with two heads is burned tgt with harvey's face blah blah. i want to watch again!

and yeah, there's supposed to be lots and lots of pictures but guess what.

GERALD'S CAMERA DROPPED INTO THE TOILET BOWL.

so now it's spoilt and he has to send it for repair. i hope the camera gets well soon. >.<

and i seriously feel like changing phone. my phone's totally totally out to get me. there's like, no more space. my memory card is left with like, 7mb. and now the kep pad keeps jamming. actually its only one key -- the space button. but like, how to sms without spacing sia. so hopefully i got time to go service it tmr.



i think my hair looks damn nice please! (though now there's so much tangles from the backcombing.)

everything just feels so screwed right now. sorry. im back to my emo self today.

went to see the HOD of arts with some other ppl for my sucky results. yes, i failed my overall becos of my 2ungraded and 1sub-pass. it was tt bad. and okay, the panic is setting in finally. I WANT TO BE PROMOTED. DAMN IT. and now even that seems so hard thanks to my ungradeds. i need to like, get at least 55 to pull those up to a pass. and to do tt i need a 40 mark improvement. wtfwtfwtf.

and she's like,"if your results are not good and the comments from your teachers about your conduct are bad, you may not be even given a chance to sit for R-paper. you may not even be able to stay in the school".

and like, okay, im going to try very very hard to pull my geog and econs up. but
what about my math. i hate math i tell you.

and it's just freaking two months. and i have so much things going on right now i cant even sit down to study properly.

and i heard there's no more tom yum oppo zhs anymore. tts adding on to my depression.

im going to die from exhaustion soon i think.

there's full dress rehearsal for college day + training tmr.
and i need to send rebecca my written report (dont remind me. pw totally totally belong to my hate list.)
econs project + going to buy make up for college day with wenyi and jaime and not-sure-who-else on thursday.
rehearsal + training again on friday.
college day + movie outing with the knights on sat. (are the seniors coming? but we'll be super duper AA. go to dhoby ghaut and you can spot us FOR SURE)
movie again? on sunday.

i need to find time to sleep.

i finally finished episode 18. but actually tt made me a bit sad cos now i've got to wait for one episode per week just like the rest. i want to watch everything in one go can.

and ytd's ndp was lame. it was raining la. and the waiting time almost drove me crazy. but at least germ and me didnt miss the fireworks! super duper nice can. cant wait for 9 august totally. and we're having stayover at jaime's house! xD

have to go discuss written report tmr. oh man. pw is really really >< to the max. and promos are coming, i seriously gotta start picking up my book alr.

you want a positive answer. but i'm not even sure of what i want. and as the days pass the insecurities just kept on growing.

im rushing pw now and its freaking irritating. im having like, a million problems finding the right article cos those tt are suitable are too short and those tt looks long is just...

i think i should take a break. but if i do i'll never slp tonight.

and geog is super confusing. you know how in sec sch they said that at the lower course lateral erosion is more evident rather than downward erosion, and all along i thought that this will make the channel in the lower course wide and shallow. and then now suddenly they tell me that no, its actually very wide and very deep. and the velocity is high instead of low. i mean, that's so contradicting what i learn in secondary school la. i cant understand it no matter how long i stare at the notes and how much i think. i just really dont get the velocity is high part and i think tts the crucial link. omgomgomg.

and im just really really screwed for math cos im still not paying attention in class or doing any tutorials. but im feling like, real tired this few days la. and i slept throughout almost all the lessons today. i think the teachers should hate me. grrr.

and seriously there's too much sickos and psychos in this world. and they should go look for each other instead of me.im sick of random people adding me on msn and asking me whether i will zaogeng when i cheerlead or do i wear shorts under my school skirt blah blah. i mean, if you're so interested just go try out for yourself la. still have to waste my time blocking such people. *bite their heads off*

and i finally got to go home early today. i never appreciated that super shiok feeling of going home early when i was zhs la. then now i only get to have tt feeling like, once in a purple moon.

im going back to EoM. ><

hey people. for tunny's birthday celebration please go to my class blog. all the pictures are there. including the one where i was crying and the cracked tv. ><
class blog.

just gotten back most of my results and its super depressing shit. i failed thee subjects can you believe it, when jc only has like, so damn effing little subjects. i dont know what i got for lit but hopefully it wont be another failure. one subpass fr geog (which is still a fail) and 2 ungraded for math and econs. i am so screwed. and im damn scared for my result slip cos its been forever since i last got grounded and i have this bad feeling that its going to happen again very very soon.

and trainings are like, hard. i dont know if its becos i dont plan my time wisely. i always end up not having enough time to do my stuff and slp or whatever. and trainings feel like a lot this few days. im not saying it isnt fun, its just that i dont even do anything when i reach home anymore. and i overstretched my thigh muscle and now its just freaking pain shit and i cant even do any stretching for like two weeks. and then i see ks enjoying himself so much during his trainings and then look back at our team and see how we dont have enough guys blah blah and everything is just. i dont know what to say.

and pw really suck to the max cos i haven even started on my EoM and its dued on friday. i wanted to d tonight but then the comp just refused to stop hibernating and now im using the lapop and im super not used to it and yes, its an excuse for me to not do it until tomorrow. but then by then i'll only have one night to complete the whole thing and i dont even know how im going to print it out cos my printer ran out of ink.

and i dont know why i'm like, having so much mood swings this few days. my mood can go like, from super sian to super happy to super sad and back within a few minutes. like wth, i feel so imbalanced la. i dont want to feel this way cos its super irritating and i keep feeling like i want to bite people's head off. and i dont like it when im not smiling and ppl keep asking me what's wrong what happened cos i dont even know what is wrong. and sometimes i just keep the smile there just so tt people wont ask and after a while it gets really tiring. and then like, i dont know why again but i keep getting the urge to cry. like, omg, im having depression. but like, okay, its not just me. i realise a lot of people are having more mood swings this few days. i hope its just PMS.

and i want a scrap book for my birthday but gerald dont want to make for me. ><

and yuetseng just asked me to go for dinner with him tmr but then i cant. again. i feel so bad please.

and im not joing the connect singapore thing anymore cos like, i just have too much things going on and i cant handle them. i think im going crazy from the lack of slp.

and i'm super hungry now. i want to eat maggi mee. but i cant. i think i should just go sleep soon.

met up with germaines after ndp ytd. i missed them omfg much. and okay, that's not the point. the point is THE FIREWORKS ARE THE MOST FREAKING AMAZING THING EVER. they're breathtaking. like, seriously.

we were heading to the toilet when we heard this really loud booming sounds and saw everyone running towards this door leading outside. and we ran with them and then when we were at the staircase the sight was really indescribable. the fireworks were like exploding directly in front of you. feels like the whole show is for you or something. but we only watched one part of it, cos like apparently, there were two or three parts with breaks in betw. but now that i know IM NOT GONNA MISS IT AGAIN. i really really want to watch the one on national day.

went to help out at CDAC open house today. felt like a class outing please. and we were super duper slack there. i completed my whole popstar game in one morning la. went to esplanade for tunny's surprise birthday celebration aft tt. the cake is freaking nice. hope she IS surprised.

and i really throw my face today can. knocked into the plasma tv in esplanade. and it was damn loud. i dont know how the fish in the world can i not see the tv when it's so freaking huge. and i fell on weiyao cos of the impact la. tunn said i scratched him. sorry. >< freaking duper pain. i was like, crying buckets and the tears just cannot be stopped. must be tunny influenced me to be so clumsy one la. she's bad influence!

credits to wenyi.

i love this picture.

&have you ever stopped to think that maybe my smile is there becos you expect it to be. or maybe it's meant to mask the unhappiness inside.

had e learning today. and the only lesson that i actually attended was lit. cos ms chia was teaching on msn. lol. and our msn convo came up to 32 pages. imagine that. argh. but i wanted to go for the rest of the tutorials and lectures la. but then i couldnt load them. and i was lazy to go to net's house or borrow laptop form ks.

but i want another e learning day soon!

we still haven get back the rest of the papers. like, omg they should just return me so tt i dont need to keep thinking about how many subjects i failed anymore la. but i hope nothing will be worse than math. i got 15/100. i dont even know how i got tt little marks please.

last night's farewell dinner with shaun before he goes to tekong. his bald hair is super funny i tell you. we'll miss him. xD

we bought him a cake and we sang him a birthday song. although i dont know what for.

the best i ever had too. :)

gerald is damn efficient this time. dont know why he's suddenly damn nice to us. must be something sneaky up his sleeve la.




















look at tt expression. ><

does that even look like a flower.