Take care of yourself properly, and i promise i'll always be here for you, no matter where you are, and no matter where i am, alright? :)

thank you. (:

okay. im feeling much better.

i just need retail therapy.

omg i dont know whats happening to me. im becoming a depressed freak.

i just had a fight with my mom. the first big one since i came back. and i dont even know how it started. and maybe its not even a fight at all cos hello, i didnt even shout at her or anything, i just went into the room and locked the door and then she started hurling all the fucking hurtful words at me. like, if you're in a bad mood its so not my fault can. and what the fuck are you in a bad mood for, i'll only be here for like two more days if you cant stand me and you have to make the last two days miserable. yeah im not good enough for you. im not hardworking enough im not studious enough im not filial enough i dont help out enough. i only know how to throw tantrum i only know how to cry. then what do you want me to do. yeah im a big disappointment i know you all would love it if you all had someone else for a daughter. you say i haven been doing my duties as a daughter then what about you, you keep claiming to be such a great mother you made so much fucking sacrifices for me you spent so much money on me.

but what about love, what about the care that i want.

you dont even know what i fucking want.

you dont even know who i am.

the past four days has been craziness over and over.
and


...


not forgetting counting down two more days to

MERRY CHRISTMAS (:

guess the time now. its only nine thirty. and i woke up at freaking eight oclock today and eight thirty yesterday. omg please dont let it be seven thirty tomorrow.

and ive not been doing anything constructive, except for like, one or two math questions a day. i eat, then use comp, then watch tv, then repeat the process again and again until my parents reach home. omg i have freaking no life man.

and to top it off. im freezing my butt off. -.- i hate cold weather! oh man. somebody get singapore's sun over here please.

i miss the time when its all about me and all about you.

who are the real friends?

omg the weather here is freezing.
im so going to die. ><

met up with ling and weiting ytd and we went to sing k. like finally. its alr 16 dec and almost two months into the hols and thats was my first time singing k this holiday. all the photos are with ting.

and im going to the airport in like 15 hours time? i dont know what im feeling actually. but im seriously not looking forward to all the fights with my parents that are inevitable everytime i visit them.

and the sad thing is, im missing out on all the warehouse sales. ):

brightening up my life. (:

omg. three days before i leave singapore and im sick. -.-

my throat is killing me my throat is killing me my throat is killing me.

very pain lehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

oh and do you'know twilight is out alr. super lame please. they say its gonna be released on 18 dec and then its showing everywhere alr.

but BOLT's nice! its damn damn touching please. but bums said he got cheated by some bad guy and at the end of the show i was like, where got where got where got. omg he dont even understand G rated shows. lol.

and ytd's class outing was sort of a failure cos only six people turned up and in the end we split into 3-3 to watch two different movies. but it was nice meeting up with them. i missed them. (:

is the day the earth stood still nice? i think im watching it later.

and can somebody save my throat please.

GDLWH,

maybe you dont know how worried i am about you, or maybe you just dont care or give a damn.

and i still thought you'll be the last to make me feel this way.
wheres the warmth from the hug ytd.

DBS's really screwed up. its been the third freaking time they sent out my IB security device wrongly. like, wtf. so now i'm asking them to send for the fourth time and if they're going to take four working days like they claim then i should be receiving them on tues, one day before i go overseas. oh great.

and if they send it to the wrong address again i'll really dont know what to say alr.

ZOO! photos when they're uploaded. (((((((((((((:

1. today has been a fat fat day. and i mean REALLY FAT. think bloated-stomach-and-inability-to-walk kind of fat.
2. my uncle bought a new desktop. omg like finally. after complaining about it for so freaking long. so now it doesnt lag SO MUCH anymore.
3. mr HOYUENCHI is back from his china trip. yes my gossiping partner is back. (((:
4. i think i'm meeting my class for guitar hero + lunch + bolt on friday.
5. i think im meeting my bestf and germaine on sunday. but im not sure if its dinner or lunch cos they suggested different things. (((:
6. im going to the ZOO tmr. CANT WAIT! ^^

sometimes you're confused. and sometimes you aint.
you just have to decide what to do about those confusing things if you're not going to be unconfused anytime soon.

i saw this from janard's blog. and currently im freaking bored (and hungry) so im going to write down my own randowm facts too.

According to your age, list down the number of things that most people don't know about you.

1. i think im freaking childish. although most people would alr know this. but like, i dont even think im always this way. with my bestf im not childish, im just irritating. lol.

2. i often dont know what i want. then i always end up regretting whatever decision i made. maybe i should learn to think of the consequences before i act. but then the consequences often dont turn out the way i thought i would also. so thinking about it would just be wasting my energy in a way right.

3. i think i used to believe in happily-ever-afters. but i dont anymore. how do you believe that true love still exist forever and always when you see so many negative examples around you. there're so many things you cant control and so many uncertainties in life, isnt it just easier to take one step at a time and see how things goes.

4. i just stained gerald's white shirt with streaks of yellow. and i think he's going to kill me and then not lend me anymore shirts. and omg i should just freaking learn to separate my white shirts with the coloured ones before machine-washing them.
okay this is freaking random but im feeling super guilty now and i keep thinking about it.

5. i love my parents but i just dont know how to communicate with them. i get fed up damn easily and then i just shut my self off and doesnt want to talk anymore. and i think our beliefs and everything is damn different and we cant even talk without fighting.

6. i think im selfish. but i think everybody is secretly. its just how much do you admit to it and stuff. sometimes i dont think about how others feel. or sometimes i just dont think they'll feel that way and then they end up actually feeling that way and then i'll feel so guilty and everything. and like, sometimes i try to please everybody and the thing will just end up backfiring. like damn suey please. okay off topic.

7. i think the saying bread doesnt matter as long as there's love is just so untrue. money's important. try living without it. and dont tell me as long as you're with the one you love it doesnt matter if you eat bread everyday or have no luxuries in life and you'll still be happy. thats bullshit. im a carnivore. i cannot survive on bread alone.

8. i have short attention span. i lose interest in things very quickly. thats why i always do things half way and then just leave it there to rot after a while. i need new things to do or else i'l get bored.

9. i think i can be a very demanding and unreasonable girlf. like, i try not to be and then i still end up that way. and then whenever i tell people 'oh we quarreled and then they'll just go 'why am i not surprised'. maybe thats why none of my relationships lasted past one year. like, im trying not to be like tt but its just damn hard.

10. im going to hire a part-time maid to do all the housework when i get married next time. i think i'll blow up my house if i try to do it myself. and then i'll have no white shirts left. and plus i dont want to, thats the main point.

11. i hate waiting. i dont like waiting for people. and i dont like waiting for calls and messages. it drives me crazy, and then i get bored, and then i get pissed.

12. i need 80$ to pay for my cheer shoes but i dont have the money. and i dont dare to ask my parents for it cos they're going to go up the wall. how how how.

13. im seriously tired. like, okay, physically too, but im really tired mentally. i dont know what to do with my life and the people. i know what some people wants from me, but i just cant give it. i know what will make them happy, but i cant do it. and then i get upset with myself when i see them upset becos of me. and theres just no easier way out is there.

14. i dont know how to manage my time well. like, sometimes i plan or agree to too much things and then i realise i can handle it. and then by then its bad for me to change my mind or back out then i just try to carry on with it. and then i'll keep complaining that im tired out and everything. and my studies are suffering as a result and i dont even dare to think about what will happen next year.

15. i get mood swings damn easily. i can go from being super one moment to being super upset or depressed or angry the next. its not something i can control.

okay, i cant think of anymore random facts to fill up till my age alr.

THE PHOTOS FROM THE TUESDAY MEET UP WITH LING AND WEITING.

and credits to weiting. (:

i think we took photos till we were crazy.












MONDAY MONDAY! ling faster go confirm eh.

and ling. we'll always be there for you. hope things gets better. (: