you say "continue to get angry ba. its all my fault"

but it totally doesnt sound like you think you're in the wrong does it. why are you saying things that you dont mean, when i've told you time and again that i dont like it.

am i really such an unreasonable girlf? i cant even voice out my unhappiness without you going all defensive on me? making up for like five minutes before things start going all wrong again?everytime we quarrel its becos i dont understand your rationale, i dont understand you, i cant think from your point of view. so do you want me to be like you and say "its all my fault"?

im sorry. i cant.

why does it seem like we're just hurting and hurting each other?

omg im so fucking hating this.

I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SELF VS SOCIETY LA!!!!!!

everytime i think its self in society, i question myself why isnt it self against society or self of society. and then my stand will waver and then i'll delete all that i've written and it just repeats and repeats and repeats and im so goddamn frustrated.

and theres still never-ending math and econs and geog.

omgggggggggggggggggggg.

i love jaime and jaime loves me ((((((:

thanks for that little something. it totally brightened my day up.

i guess the stress's getting to everybody. everybody's so easily irriated nowadays, a little things can get people to snap and growl and bite and change face faster then i can say 'a levels'. it makes me kinda sad to see everybody like this actually.

"A levels is the worst hurdle in your life, compared to it O lvels is nothing, and even uni exams are much easier"

i guess i kinda agree with it now. the stress is getting to me too. making me feel like crying for no reason. making me feel like throwing silly tantrums. making me stubborn and wilful and all.

and im having this terrible eye infection now, i cant stop tearing. one drop rolls down approx every 5 seconds, i think my ahma thinks im crazy or something.

and the worst worst thing is, i stained so freaking much today. totally throw my face. luckily i was wearing denim shorts instead of the white shorts.

may the power be with me.

i need to work towards my six As.

can people just stop blaming me for things that i did/didnt do/said/didnt said. its really frustrating amidst all the exam stress that i'm feeling now. every single day i just feel like pulling my hair out cos i just cant understand what im doing and theres still a million and one things waiting for me to do. and yet at the same time i have to be apologetic to everybody else cos i just make them unhappy and they'll complain about me or scold me.

im stressed enough already. cant everything just wait till after a levels before happening.

it makes me feel like crying.

its so weird to hear your cousin say fuck.

okay my weekend plans are pretty screwed. i overestimated my studying abilities too much. and now i barely managed to complete one tenth of what i planned. but why does complex numbers have to be so hard anyway! i thought i finally got it when i finished the tutorial, then i had to get stuck at the assignment again. and i only managed to finish the tutorial cos i burnt up yama and yuenchi's whole afternoon cos they were spending most of their studying time teaching me. its so damn frustrating demoralizing and all.

sometimes i just wish im smarter.

friday was national day celebration. and we celebrated nette's birthday and went over to visit ms fisher's two-week old baby. he's so freaking adorable! i want one of my own but i dont think i'll just end up shouting at him if he cries non stop.

the pictures are so cool dont you think. we look like some advertisement for friends if you scroll betw them really quickly. ^^

last week this time, our conversatin were filled with laughter, happiness, and love.
this week this time, there isnt even a conversation anymore.

how did things turned out this way.